It seems like I haven’t written in awhile, but it has been a quiet couple days. Which is great and normal for our family. Not to say I haven’t been in contact with my mom for just normal dealings. I talk to her pretty much every day which I count my Blessings that I get to do this.
Do you ever think in the back of your head when you have a conversation with your loved one will this be the last one they remember? I do from time to time. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think about it all the time just when it seems special for some reason the thought just pops right in there and makes me remember all kinds of things.
So after reading this little thought I hope you take away from this a special thought, a memory and anything that reminds you of your loved one and cherish every moment you have. Blessings to all!
Well, this past weekend started with a call from mom telling me that she might have done something that she couldn’t remember doing. My first thought ok, how bad can it be? After I got her calmed down she told me what happened. She was a target of a phone scam…yes it happens a lot even if you don’t do anything at all. My husband and I have had our fair share and to no fault of our own. So I got her to calm down and she tells me what happened. She told me she wrote it down which I am thinking that is good, but some of the information she told me later to the information she told me that day was different, but it really didn’t matter she knew to write it down which helped when I reported it. So we where able to get things in place to make sure if anyone tried to access her information that flags would go up. After contacting the bank the support person on the other end was so nice and helpful it was great to hear to reassure even myself that it would be ok. They said, “that this is one of the most used scams out there and it happens more then you think.” So the lesson that I learned from this is that I need to stay informed of my mom’s credit information even more then I was. So for those reading and haven’t thought of this it would be a great idea to go to IDtheft.gov and just to check on your information. This is also where they offer three companies that you can get your credit report for free. This is offered to anyone even if you haven’t be compromised. I am learning a lot about things that I didn’t even know that I needed to know. So bonus with something like dementia that isn’t so nice. You need to look at the good things even when it seems that there is a lot more bad going on. Blessings All.
Now you may be asking your self what is up with the title for today? It just pop in my head. I am of that generation that grew up on SPAM. Now if you asked me if I ate it any more the answer would be no and that I can’t even think of the last time that I ate it, but it was part of my childhood and memories with my mom so that is probably why this title came into my head. I greatly appreciate you coming and checking out my page. Blessing to you and yours.
Sorry, I have been a little MIA lately, but its been a little busy around here. Well where should I start…
My mom had a doctors appointment that I was able to take her to and this was a the first one in a long time since I was dealing with since a surgery that happened about a year ago and that is a story for another time. I spoke to my mom on the phone to let her know that I was coming shortly and I could hear the joy in her voice when I said that I would be coming to take her to the doctors. I have noticed that when I talk with my mom recently I hear her smiling and joy in her voice. I know this isn’t weird, but it comes back to the little things you notice more I guess. So back to her appointment I wasn’t really sure what this appointment was for since there really wasn’t much mentioned on the paperwork I just knew it was with nero and my mom couldn’t remember what it was for either just that she had an appointment. So off we went get checked in and we talk to a lovely man and try to answer his questions as best we can. Then I was asked to step out and then it was just all mom.
I am waiting in the waiting room and I go back over what some of the questions where that the gentleman asked and I knew that I needed to get some additional answers to those questions myself that I didn’t even know about. Like why is she taking this medication and that one and to know more of her medical history too. I felt like a bad daughter that I wasn’t aware of those things. After an hour mom came out and I could tell she was feeling a little tired so we checked out as quickly as we could and I took mom on one more errand before taking her home. So off we went. I didn’t ask her any questions about how it went until we were driving in the car to the next location we needed to go to and she told me what she could remember or that she wanted to share with me. Which was fine. So we accomplish what we needed to on our second stop and then home we go. As we are heading home I ask if she was hungry and if she wanted me to stop somewhere to get a bite to take home since I figured she was hungry, but she said that she was ok and could make something to eat at home. So deep down I hoped this was true. I worry about my mom making sure she is eating. So I dropped her off at her home and made sure that she was all set then it was back home for me to be a mom and take care of what my boys needed today.
I was in contact with my mom’s good friend and kept her updated as best I could for the day, but also said that I needed to talk to her and get our information all up to date with what she had and what I had as well. We are very Blessed to have her in our lives.
So I called her the following day and filled her in to what happened at the appointment and we talked about all the things that we wanted to and just talked too which you need to do from time to time. I one thing came up and I sometimes say this from time to time “I really do not like to Adult right now” , but you know you have to man up and take care of what needs to be taken care of and then afterwards you can crawl in your blanket fort and all will be better.
So my moms appointment was where she was evaluated and then she has a follow-up with the doctor in a few weeks. It has made me think now we will have something to go off of and see what our next plan of attack will be. I have found myself thinking about not my past per say, but my future of how long will I have with my mom until she forgets me or will she ever forget me. Not sure if others think about this or not it is just something that I think about. I treasure the time that I do have with her even if its a trip to the doctors or running errands since it may come a day that will all stop and all I am left with will be memories. Cherish what time you have with your loved ones. Blessing all and I wish you all a Blessed weekend!
I woke up today thinking to myself what day is it? I realized it is Wednesday a day before heading to see mom which it seems to be the day I have been seeing my mom. I think to myself what if I didn’t go this week would she be ok? My guilt comes and goes all the time. I need to be here for my family boys especially since we are doing virtual school right now. But then I think how is she really doing which I would see in person and not over the phone which I do talk to her every few days. You see when I see her it takes about an hour to travel to her then I visit for a hour or more then home again which then is another hour. That is a lot of time away from my boys who are getting older and can be left kind of. As I am writing this I have been getting interrupted by my youngest who is the one that needs a little more attention then my oldest. So this guilt is hard as I know other caregivers go through as well.
I did a quick search about guilt and caregivers and came across these two images that I wanted to share. It’s a reminder that it ok to give yourself a break. What I also have going for me is my mom has great neighbors who I can ask for help. That makes me feel a little better when I need a break. So the conclusion is WE need a break take the break it is ok.
Over the weekend was as normal as we can get in today’s days. Friday was a home football game and the marching band was able to perform their show. It as great. I was able to get photos of them performing and having a great time. Now onto Saturday we had friends and family performance and I recorded the whole show on my phone to share with my mom it always makes her smile. So I get home check that the file was backed up and deleted the file from my phone. But here is the bad side it really didn’t back up or there was an issue whatever it was I didn’t have the video. I was upset that I put all my feelings in having this video to show my mom, but on the plus side I had one part of the show due to room issues on my phone it was saved on my card. So I did back it up and it was saved. So I might not have the whole show, but I have part of it. Along with finding that it was also recorded on a YouTube video which is ok not great since they didn’t realize it was live when they weren’t on the band. But we have it.
Today I woke up thinking what do I have to do today besides laundry, make meals, clean, etc… At times I feel lost with what I should be doing. I came across MercyMe songs that made think about how things will be once mom is out of the clouds per say and can talk and think without the worry if she can’t remember she will be well I will just miss her. I Can Only Imagine is a wonderful song and movie check it out if you get a chance. I also listened to a few other songs including “Even If” and it made me think Even If you are going through things it will get better you just need to know God will never leave you Even If…
Today is Thursday for those who might not know it. I sometimes lose track of the days myself. Today I got up, got the boys ready for virtual school and off I went to see my mom. Don’t worry hubby was home to help this week. So off to see mom with a few stops along the way before seeing her.
Good morning mom!!! I greeted my mom with a smile under my mask and she smiled back it was good to see her smile. Today we talked about anything and everything. Do you ever feel bad when you ask your parent, loved one, etc a question and they just can’t remember the answer? I would mention I am sorry and she said don’t be sorry if I can answer I will and if I can’t I won’t. Makes sense right? But I still feel bad because I don’t want her to feel bad. Had a wonderful visit it felt normal as normal can feel and we even filled out paperwork and laughed at most of the questions. I even turned red about a particular question yeah I am still her daughter and you just don’t talk about That with your parents. We had a good laugh. If you can’t laugh at yourself then it will be a boring life. Time to go until next time. Said our I love you’s and off I went.
Off to run errands and get ready for Marching Band tomorrow! Can’t wait. Feels like we are back on track with school in just a new way band mom here I come! Blessings All!!!
Today or really this morning was a reminder that you should not let things build up or you may experience flood gates for the lack of better wording. I was at my church doing my job that I am involved with in offering online live streaming of our service. Well everything and anything happened that could have happened to make not go the way it should have and needless to say I lost it. Yes I broke down and cried. I couldn’t control this any more then I can control what is happening in my life with me and dementia affecting my life with my mother. Yes I speak of dementia as this thing that has come into our life which to me is the best way I can deal with it. So what I see has I was dealing with the happenings of today that God was talking to me and saying “It’s ok to kick, scream, shout, and cry you need to do this from time to time. So everything from this week of events leading up to those flood gates opening its “OK to SAY THINGS ARE NOT GOING RIGHT AND ITS OK TO SAY SO YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!”
I had a good week with my mom, but other events have not been so good. So I find when other things aren’t going so well then I start to think when will that other shoe fall. So then you worry about all these other things that could wrong, but might not. You don’t think its building up, but it does and then all it takes is just one trigger and I found mine today. It is OK to say you don’t have this, you need help and it is ok to scream, shout, kick, and cry. You don’t have to hold it all together you are human and humans cry and have break downs its normal. For whatever you have going on on your plate right now just remember “YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE GOING THRU THIS”
Have a Blessed day and if you someone to talk to I am here for you.
Today was a day to see and check on mom. Traveling to see mom I had a few thoughts run thru my mind as I am taking care of things for my boys before heading to see her. Like I wonder if she would like a mum for her porch and well that angel food cake looks good too. So after my few little errands before heading to see mom I have in tow with me half an angel food cake and a huge mum for her porch. Now off I go…
Arrived and get all my goodies and head in to see mom, but let’s check the mail that is always a good idea. So mail, cake, and my bags without the mum since it is so big next trip I head in to see mom. She is in a great mood this morning. I let her finish getting ready for her day and out I go for the mum and get it setup on her porch and wait to show her. She is all set and I showed her the mum and she was so excited she gave me a hug. She caught me off guard with it since all this COVID stuff I haven’t hugged anyone besides my hubby and kids I did have my mask on. I didn’t say anything and just smiled. She loved it! That was cool to see her express herself it felt all was normal. But then just that little nagging voice came in and whispered and now what? I made it go away I was enjoying my visit it’s me and mom and we are just talking about the grandkids, music, childhood memories hers and mine…it was normal. Occasionally the word dementia came into the conversation, but didn’t stick around long. I knew there where things I should have done like fill out some forms for an upcoming doctors appointment, but it can wait I had my mom for a few hours and it was great. We laughed, cried a little, sang, watched a video of the boys and talked…paperwork could wait a day. So it was time to head back we said our goodbyes and our I love you’s and left feeling really good and replayed those few moments again in my mind. It was a great trip!
So my thoughts for today… Live in the moment, paperwork can wait and always say I love you!!! Blessings all!
The weekend started with a trip to get groceries and do a few errands that I did on the way to see my mom while I was out and about. Stopped in to check on her and took care of a few things that needed taken care of while I was there with her. She was a little beside herself that she mentioned herself. I said I am sorry you are feeling this way and she said it will be ok plus seeing you makes me feel better. Be still my heart. I spent a little more time and then off I went to run some more errands on the way home from seeing mom. As I am writing about my weekend I look back on events and it is like looking thru the other side of the mirror. Through out this weekend I had continued thoughts of what I should or need to do and what else I should add to my list of things that seems to keep growing as I learn more and more about taking care of someone with dementia. All along with those thoughts I was still a mom, wife and still taking care of what I needed to take care over the weekend. Life still goes on even tho it seems to stop for a little when your looking thru the lens of dementia.
On another note still looking into home care and I tell you there is a lot of information out there and it can get confusing. I have sites booked marked and copied and say to myself when I get time I will really read the information. Which I am hoping I will, but who knows. Hubby comes home and tells me he has a family friend who just went thru this and is going to meet with him to see if he can lead us in the right direction. There should be a plan somewhere to help those going through this I know we are not the only ones. It would be nice to be able to do a search and find what you need without going thru so many hoops. This is the frustrating part when you are trying to gather information about really anything. Sorry just a little venting.
One other thought I came across an article or something I read about medical ID bracelets. The more I think about this it is a great idea. Has anyone already done this or has any additional information I would love to hear about. Thank you. Blessings for a great day!
Today started just like the rest get the boys up for school, breakfast and then log in to school. For me was then left to take care of paying the bills, returning emails, checking to make sure the boys schedules where updated with the constant changes that happen. It felt normal a routine that felt like it hasn’t happened in a long time. So the phone rings I am off to help take care of a issue at church no biggie just another normal feeling thing. Back home lunch and say I should start to get back to looking into getting information on home care and some other additional information I find I need to look into while searching up home care. I come across a few good articles and webpages so I bookmark them for later, make PDFs so I have the information later for when I have more time to really read the information closer. At the same time I am working on gathering information my youngest is practicing his instrument and then continues to ask questions. Just normal things. I found a great article and I will share it with you when I get it off my other computer. I found it fascinating. I also called mom just to see how she was doing she seemed in great spirits and I could hear the smile in her voice since I also told her that I would be seeing her tomorrow. I notice things like this more the little things seem so much BIGGER now. I love that. Speaking of good feelings I would like to share a great memory that happened only few weeks ago.
We participated in the Longest Day it was to be a great event and then it seemed that the world stopped for awhile. So things where put on hold. But we where still able to raise some funds and have fun in the process. I asked my mom what would she like to have as her fundraiser and she mentioned something that others could use so we came up with ceramics. Found a wonderful business called Busy Bees Pottery and Art Studio close to where I live and they created kits with everything that you would need to create your creations and then all would need to happen is to get them fired. Which you dropped them off and then picked them up when done it was great! So we picked a day me and my youngest son went to see my mom and we had a painting party on her porch. We had a little lunch then painted away. She loved it and so did we. She just kept saying this was a great day and also mentioned that she will remember this day forever and I then thought to myself I hope she does!