Last we left I was talking about how a simple wave was like magic. Fast forward to today….

Mom has been moved closer to us after over a year and half wait. She is now less then 20 minutes away compared to an hour or more depending on traffic. Which is good for us. We have been working on getting her settled after her final move within the facility. It has been a process I can tell you.

Over this time as well we have celebrated a high school graduation, high school marching band, college marching band, college enrollment events, milestone birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, working, etc… it has been a whirlwind of all type of things. Life in a nut shell.

Life in a nut shell… things are not easy when you have all this going on with your parent who has dementia and still trying to be a parent to your own kids as well. Someone told me I am part of the “Sandwich Generation” you are caring for your parents and your own kids at the same time. So true for me. So I have been feeling so run down, sad, depressed, alone, etc… So I needed help. I am seeing a therapist in dealing with ALL of this. It is OK to ask for help it really is!!! This isn’t my first time either, but it is needed. At this time this is what is needed to get through this part of this adventure we call dementia and my life. I lost my sounding board and I really am realizing that I don’t know my mother beyond what I grew up with or she shared with me. Only seeing her a couple times a month really isn’t a lot of time. So I am dealing with going through that loss at the same time I am grieving over losing my mom while she is still here too. It’s a lot to handle along with still raising my family as well. Learning to know it is ok to not be ok and it is ok to be that way in front of my family as well. I am a person who normally doesn’t let things bother me you know looking towards the good in things and situations. Which is fine to a point, but not talking about what is bothering you and just moving on is not always a good thing either. So I am learning to make my voice be heard in certain ways too. Communicating with my family more and talking about what is bothering me and or how I feel. It’s not easy, but I am working on it.

This goes along in how I am handling things with my mom too. No more kids gloves per say. When I talk with my mom I am no longer picking and choosing in how I say things to my mom. Worried I may say the wrong thing to upset her. I still may have some hesitance in what I say, but getting better with it. I am learning it is ok to not be ok with what is going on with my mom and how I feel sometimes that I don’t want to do this anymore and being resentful towards her too. These are all normal feelings and it doesn’t make me a bad person it makes me a human being with feelings that I am trying to figure out as we both go down this path with dementia.

One last thought over this time so far I was talking at work and this is what came from our talk. I had posted this in a group on FB about caregivers and dementia.

“Had to share this with you all today. Was talking at work today with my boss and came to a realization that instead of thinking our loved one is digressing in a bad way think of it in a way that they are reverting back to being a toddler to a baby. In a way you may get to see them the way they were when they were younger. I thought it was an interesting way to look at something that isn’t the easiest thing to go through. Also, we find humor helps as well.
Prayers to you all. Believe me I know this isn’t easy to go through.
This week was the first time that my loved one thought her father was still alive and he has been gone since 2002. So that is where the conversation about becoming younger in thinking came from along with her having issues in walking too.
Blessings to you all.”

Just something I shared with the group. Thank you all for joining me on this adventure we call dementia. Blessings