It’s The Little Things

Over the weekend was as normal as we can get in today’s days. Friday was a home football game and the marching band was able to perform their show. It as great. I was able to get photos of them performing and having a great time. Now onto Saturday we had friends and family performance and I recorded the whole show on my phone to share with my mom it always makes her smile. So I get home check that the file was backed up and deleted the file from my phone. But here is the bad side it really didn’t back up or there was an issue whatever it was I didn’t have the video. I was upset that I put all my feelings in having this video to show my mom, but on the plus side I had one part of the show due to room issues on my phone it was saved on my card. So I did back it up and it was saved. So I might not have the whole show, but I have part of it. Along with finding that it was also recorded on a YouTube video which is ok not great since they didn’t realize it was live when they weren’t on the band. But we have it.

Today I woke up thinking what do I have to do today besides laundry, make meals, clean, etc… At times I feel lost with what I should be doing. I came across MercyMe songs that made think about how things will be once mom is out of the clouds per say and can talk and think without the worry if she can’t remember she will be well I will just miss her. I Can Only Imagine is a wonderful song and movie check it out if you get a chance. I also listened to a few other songs including “Even If” and it made me think Even If you are going through things it will get better you just need to know God will never leave you Even If…

A Thursday We Will Go

Today is Thursday for those who might not know it. I sometimes lose track of the days myself. Today I got up, got the boys ready for virtual school and off I went to see my mom. Don’t worry hubby was home to help this week. So off to see mom with a few stops along the way before seeing her.

Good morning mom!!! I greeted my mom with a smile under my mask and she smiled back it was good to see her smile. Today we talked about anything and everything. Do you ever feel bad when you ask your parent, loved one, etc a question and they just can’t remember the answer? I would mention I am sorry and she said don’t be sorry if I can answer I will and if I can’t I won’t. Makes sense right? But I still feel bad because I don’t want her to feel bad. Had a wonderful visit it felt normal as normal can feel and we even filled out paperwork and laughed at most of the questions. I even turned red about a particular question yeah I am still her daughter and you just don’t talk about That with your parents. We had a good laugh. If you can’t laugh at yourself then it will be a boring life. Time to go until next time. Said our I love you’s and off I went.

Off to run errands and get ready for Marching Band tomorrow! Can’t wait. Feels like we are back on track with school in just a new way band mom here I come! Blessings All!!!

Just a reminder YOU are not alone!

Today or really this morning was a reminder that you should not let things build up or you may experience flood gates for the lack of better wording. I was at my church doing my job that I am involved with in offering online live streaming of our service. Well everything and anything happened that could have happened to make not go the way it should have and needless to say I lost it. Yes I broke down and cried. I couldn’t control this any more then I can control what is happening in my life with me and dementia affecting my life with my mother. Yes I speak of dementia as this thing that has come into our life which to me is the best way I can deal with it. So what I see has I was dealing with the happenings of today that God was talking to me and saying “It’s ok to kick, scream, shout, and cry you need to do this from time to time. So everything from this week of events leading up to those flood gates opening its “OK to SAY THINGS ARE NOT GOING RIGHT AND ITS OK TO SAY SO YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!”

I had a good week with my mom, but other events have not been so good. So I find when other things aren’t going so well then I start to think when will that other shoe fall. So then you worry about all these other things that could wrong, but might not. You don’t think its building up, but it does and then all it takes is just one trigger and I found mine today. It is OK to say you don’t have this, you need help and it is ok to scream, shout, kick, and cry. You don’t have to hold it all together you are human and humans cry and have break downs its normal. For whatever you have going on on your plate right now just remember “YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE GOING THRU THIS”

Have a Blessed day and if you someone to talk to I am here for you.

Fall is right around the corner.

Today was a day to see and check on mom. Traveling to see mom I had a few thoughts run thru my mind as I am taking care of things for my boys before heading to see her. Like I wonder if she would like a mum for her porch and well that angel food cake looks good too. So after my few little errands before heading to see mom I have in tow with me half an angel food cake and a huge mum for her porch. Now off I go…

Arrived and get all my goodies and head in to see mom, but let’s check the mail that is always a good idea. So mail, cake, and my bags without the mum since it is so big next trip I head in to see mom. She is in a great mood this morning. I let her finish getting ready for her day and out I go for the mum and get it setup on her porch and wait to show her. She is all set and I showed her the mum and she was so excited she gave me a hug. She caught me off guard with it since all this COVID stuff I haven’t hugged anyone besides my hubby and kids I did have my mask on. I didn’t say anything and just smiled. She loved it! That was cool to see her express herself it felt all was normal. But then just that little nagging voice came in and whispered and now what? I made it go away I was enjoying my visit it’s me and mom and we are just talking about the grandkids, music, childhood memories hers and mine…it was normal. Occasionally the word dementia came into the conversation, but didn’t stick around long. I knew there where things I should have done like fill out some forms for an upcoming doctors appointment, but it can wait I had my mom for a few hours and it was great. We laughed, cried a little, sang, watched a video of the boys and talked…paperwork could wait a day. So it was time to head back we said our goodbyes and our I love you’s and left feeling really good and replayed those few moments again in my mind. It was a great trip!

So my thoughts for today… Live in the moment, paperwork can wait and always say I love you!!!
Blessings all!

Look at all those blossoms! This barely fit in my vehicle.

Close up of some of the blossoms on the huge mum.

What A Busy Weekend

The weekend started with a trip to get groceries and do a few errands that I did on the way to see my mom while I was out and about. Stopped in to check on her and took care of a few things that needed taken care of while I was there with her. She was a little beside herself that she mentioned herself. I said I am sorry you are feeling this way and she said it will be ok plus seeing you makes me feel better. Be still my heart. I spent a little more time and then off I went to run some more errands on the way home from seeing mom. As I am writing about my weekend I look back on events and it is like looking thru the other side of the mirror. Through out this weekend I had continued thoughts of what I should or need to do and what else I should add to my list of things that seems to keep growing as I learn more and more about taking care of someone with dementia. All along with those thoughts I was still a mom, wife and still taking care of what I needed to take care over the weekend. Life still goes on even tho it seems to stop for a little when your looking thru the lens of dementia.

On another note still looking into home care and I tell you there is a lot of information out there and it can get confusing. I have sites booked marked and copied and say to myself when I get time I will really read the information. Which I am hoping I will, but who knows. Hubby comes home and tells me he has a family friend who just went thru this and is going to meet with him to see if he can lead us in the right direction. There should be a plan somewhere to help those going through this I know we are not the only ones. It would be nice to be able to do a search and find what you need without going thru so many hoops. This is the frustrating part when you are trying to gather information about really anything. Sorry just a little venting.

One other thought I came across an article or something I read about medical ID bracelets. The more I think about this it is a great idea. Has anyone already done this or has any additional information I would love to hear about. Thank you. Blessings for a great day!

A Day of Learning and a Happy Thought

Today started just like the rest get the boys up for school, breakfast and then log in to school. For me was then left to take care of paying the bills, returning emails, checking to make sure the boys schedules where updated with the constant changes that happen. It felt normal a routine that felt like it hasn’t happened in a long time. So the phone rings I am off to help take care of a issue at church no biggie just another normal feeling thing. Back home lunch and say I should start to get back to looking into getting information on home care and some other additional information I find I need to look into while searching up home care. I come across a few good articles and webpages so I bookmark them for later, make PDFs so I have the information later for when I have more time to really read the information closer. At the same time I am working on gathering information my youngest is practicing his instrument and then continues to ask questions. Just normal things. I found a great article and I will share it with you when I get it off my other computer. I found it fascinating. I also called mom just to see how she was doing she seemed in great spirits and I could hear the smile in her voice since I also told her that I would be seeing her tomorrow. I notice things like this more the little things seem so much BIGGER now. I love that. Speaking of good feelings I would like to share a great memory that happened only few weeks ago.

We participated in the Longest Day it was to be a great event and then it seemed that the world stopped for awhile. So things where put on hold. But we where still able to raise some funds and have fun in the process. I asked my mom what would she like to have as her fundraiser and she mentioned something that others could use so we came up with ceramics. Found a wonderful business called Busy Bees Pottery and Art Studio close to where I live and they created kits with everything that you would need to create your creations and then all would need to happen is to get them fired. Which you dropped them off and then picked them up when done it was great! So we picked a day me and my youngest son went to see my mom and we had a painting party on her porch. We had a little lunch then painted away. She loved it and so did we. She just kept saying this was a great day and also mentioned that she will remember this day forever and I then thought to myself I hope she does!

Painting the roses red…well her mug red!
The finished product…it is a RED mug! She loved it!!!

Adventures for a Wednesday

Today was the start of a new day. Wake up, breakfast for the boy and start school via online. This is how we are rolling for now. So while the boys are at school I worked on some things I needed to take care of around the house. Then I remembered that I needed to take care of getting a replacement car tag for her. Found the site and form to fill out which wasn’t a big deal. Took care of the form, but I needed information that I didn’t have so a call off to mom. Call her up to see how she is doing and she sounds in good spirits. I mentioned I had a question for her and she then said, “hopefully I can answer it” I said, “it’s an easy one” and proceed to get the needed information from her. This seems like a simple question as do most questions, but to someone with dementia it’s not and it changes from day to day. One day it seems normal (normal is in the eye of the beholder) as it can be and the next day not so normal. Sometimes a thought might go thru your head is who will I get today and how am I going to have to handle this moment. With dementia it and be a moment by moment, hour by hour or minute by minute. This is what I have been noticing since dementia and Alzheimer’s has come into my life. I am so Blessed how God has placed this adventure into my path. I look at this as an adventure if I didn’t I could go nuts. I love my mom and I will take her anyway God gives her to me. Thought for today… Go with the flow with what comes your way!

First Day of School

Hello there to you all I hope this finds you all well today. As I was sitting and or going thru my day I thought of all the things I should be doing in getting things setup for my mom since I was able to get approval to act on her behalf. I should see about healthcare, home services, etc… But then I was called on from one of my boys saying they needed help for school and back to what is happening now. As I sit here typing about happenings today I start to thinking about what I should be doing and how is my mom doing right now. Then I remind myself God is in control and it helps to remember this when the guilt starts to flow in. Hoping that tomorrow to get into the nitty-gritty of home care. Health insurance is a fun thing to maneuver when you have all your senses I can’t imagine when you don’t. Do you have any suggestions in the best way to get help for finding home care?

Happy Labor Day All!

Today is Labor day and myself and my family are spending the day together at home today. We are getting ready for tomorrow when my boys start school at home since our school district is not doing in person schooling yet. I had spent the last few days setting up my blog and today is the first day that I am posting my first post. Yay me!!!

At the same time I am thinking about what I should write about I am thinking of my mother is she ok, does she need anything, etc… You see she is almost an hour away from me with traffic and it not an easy thing to just to drop everything and just go and check on her. Then I have guilt that I am not close enough or check on her every day. You know the feeling when you are taking care of someone or even your family you have that guilt that you are not doing enough. So I have an internal battle with myself throughout the day as to what I should do. I do see my mom I try to a couple times a week if I can and call her on the phone as well. I am lucky too my mom has a great friend who she has been friends with for a very long time and she is also a helper for me too. So I am not totally alone in taking care of my mom. I have things that I need to start doing for my mom now to like looking into home care for her along with house care. She can still care for herself to a point and if you talk to her she would say she is fine. She is a very proud woman so she is and that can be good at times, but not now. She needs help and is willing to go along with what we are telling her. One thing I have learned too in having been a caregiver for the lady at my church is your try to keep them involved in the decision making for as long as you can it helps to make it go a little easier. There is emotions everywhere I will tell you with having to point out to your mother that she needs help. When you have that realization that you are now the parent to your parent it really is an eye opener. She will always be my mom and I am sure this partnership with dementia play out as long as God sees fit.

This coming week I plan on posting my dealings with insurance, home care options and family. I am glad that you could join me on my journey thru the lens of dementia. Blessings for you all!

Hello There…

I am glad you could join me today. I am a daughter of a mother who was just recently diagnosed with Dementia. This is going to be my story in how we navigate this journey together.

Why do I want to share this?

  • I feel this isn’t something that is spoken about much at all.
  • My hope is that what I share will be able to help someone to let them know they are not alone.

Let me give you a little background on me. I am a mother of two great boys well you know how boys can be, but they are still my boys. I am married to a wonderful guy for 25+ years. As you know we have our ups and downs too. Our boys are busy with school, music and other activities which you know that mean I am busy too. I am a lunch lady as well while the boys do their school things and help within our community as well. We belong to a great congregation where we live and we love our church family. Speaking of our church family that will lead me into my next bite of information about how and why I am doing this blog.

About two years ago I was asked if I would be willing to sit a wonderful young lady who also was diagnosed with alzheimer and or dementia. I said sure and so beings my journey about learning in how to deal with dementia. That seems not the right word “deal”, but for now let’s go with it shall we. So my job would be to go to her house and to see if she needed anything like meals, taking her meds, to go to a store or anything else she could think of or need. She is a wonderful lady, but as I was with her I could tell that she was changing. She remembered things from when she was a kid, being married, but couldn’t remember if she ate or left a pot on the stove. That is the realization of alzheimer and dementia. The good that came out of me sitting with this lovely lady is that I was able to see what was happening and could use it in my life right now. God has His perfect timing and that now brings us up to my mom and OUR journey with dementia.

Me and my mom where to start? I guess the beginning is a good place. Growing up my parents decided it was best to get a divorce. I would visit my mom and see her during holiday’s and such. It was how we rolled. As I got older she was still involve in my life. Now married with children she is still involved. She loves her grand kids and would do anything for them and or for myself as well. She loves her family and I can still see this when I see her.

Onto where we are now. My mom was given the diagnoses of having dementia over a year ago while I was sitting with the lady of our church still. See I said, “God has His timing.” Since then we have had our ups and downs with how dementia has affected our lives.

That is where I will leave you for now and you will find additional information on my blog. Blessings